anfonymackie:

fuckrealityihaveablog:

What if Charlie Weasley is asexual? Like what if when his brothers were going through puberty and getting crushes on girls and just obsessing over them, Charlie was just like, “Guys. DRAGONS.”

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via disappolnted)

(Source: feellng)

setbabiesonfire:

divasdishblog:

"People are perfectly happy to see women as sex objects, but the actual biology of our bodies is apparently gross and unmentionable."
- Our Bodies, Ourselves.

"Horrified"

setbabiesonfire:

divasdishblog:

"People are perfectly happy to see women as sex objects, but the actual biology of our bodies is apparently gross and unmentionable."

Our Bodies, Ourselves.

"Horrified"

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

nigeah:

loveniaimani:

olitzme-or-nah:

ctron164:

lyanaalvarado:

blipsterinsverige:

jujubee58:

slimgoodymakeba:

treysongzjunkiie:

theblogofadirectioner:

grown-nala:

jamtastik:

abbzilina:

dumbesttweets:

pray for the youth. -____- 
submission from missteyk

Oh fuckkkkkkkk

:[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[










a mind is a terrible thing to waste



😒 this is just sad smh

I don’t trust these 90’s babies with the world, if this is what they believe. Ya’ll google, use that shit !

nigeah:

loveniaimani:

olitzme-or-nah:

ctron164:

lyanaalvarado:

blipsterinsverige:

jujubee58:

slimgoodymakeba:

treysongzjunkiie:

theblogofadirectioner:

grown-nala:

jamtastik:

abbzilina:

dumbesttweets:

pray for the youth. -____- 

submission from missteyk

Oh fuckkkkkkkk

:[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

image

image

image

image

a mind is a terrible thing to waste

😒 this is just sad smh

I don’t trust these 90’s babies with the world, if this is what they believe. Ya’ll google, use that shit !

image

image

Dear friend,

I know you’re hurting. I know you’re feeling alone. And I know you’re reading this. I hope you’re okay. I love you.

Moving up and out!

I’m officially moved in! As much fun as living alone was, when I was given the opportunity to move into Mound Street, I couldn’t say yes fast enough, My room is cute and coming together nicely, Barnaby is beyond happy to have a kitty cat friend, and I’m closer to my friends. Now the only problems is resisting the urge to stay up for days on end with my roommates.

Revenge is sweet and boy do I have a taste for something sugary

marina-and-the-dragons:

spread-hope-inspire:

Tribute to Steve Irwin, a guy who genuinely loved nature and animals.

This man was beyond real

I’ll sleep when I’m dead

mostly-jensen:

rawrimmadinosaur22:

Harry Potter is like a fine whisky; it gets better with age.

Sherlock is like heroin; everyone is itching for their next fix.

Doctor Who is like red wine; mature and has a big history.

Supernatural;

image

(Source: superklainelockednurse)

If I had a nickle

for every time I heard the phrase “not all men” I’d have enough money to buy a gun and shoot every man whose ever uttered those words.

edgeofredemption:

"Not all men"

Yeah, well not all dogs bite, but if I’ve been bitten by a dog before, you can bet your ass I’m going to be a little wary every time I encounter a strange or new dog.

brintty:

guy:

nikalos:

sloths!!

I feel like I would get along so well with sloths we have similarities in behavior

Same. Sloths and spoonies are kindred spirits.

(Source: halo4)

molten-heart:

anastasiajeanettemarie:

sizvideos:

If Girls Hit On Guys Like Guys Hit On Girls - Video

LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS, MEN WHO DO THIS, AND FEEL FOOLISH

Do you see how ridiculous this looks? How obscene?